星期四, 五月 24, 2007
My stay in london was more of a journey of self clarification than merely being a tourist. I knew deep inside me that i needed some sorting and understanding of my thoughts and I was very glad I did go London to find Lizhen. It was wonderful to be able to CONVERSE once again. Something I seriously lacked since I came to torino. Despite not all the time I understood her opinions and most of the time me disagreeing with what she has to say, i felt a deep sense of genuinity in our conversations. It is weird, because we hold such different opinions that I felt an uncanny similarity between us.
1 thing she told me was about being "automatic", and that people tend to perform everyday chores or doing things without questioning themselves why they do it. Sometimes people get so caught up with their daily lives and peer pressures that they switch to automatic mode without realising. I thought it would be vry tiring to always have an answer or reason why I do something, sometimes things don't need a reason to happen. But then aren't we just operating at a shallow level? Is then our perceived satisfaction obtained from our automatic operation really satisfying? I realise I have been automatic - though i hate to admit that.
I feel so shallow. Need to think more. What do I really want? What do I really like? Sometimes things can be so straightforward but I just seem to always miss the whole point. I look at my bag and I thought....it is an ugly bag! Why did i buy it? I guess i bought it cox it was nice but than now i realise it's not me who thinks it's nice it's more probably what i thought the majority would think it's nice. These so called "people's opinions" thus inflicted on me so much that they cause me to inherently lose my ability to form my own opinions ...I have subconscioudly been following trends! Yes even though i really hate to admit this.
nothing else matters on5/24/2007 08:58:00 上午
-•-
