星期二, 十月 25, 2005
New wish - to be famous! How nice would it be....
no more contraints.
imagine half of the world is anticipating my new work! (tink jay chou) If only,,,*sigh*
nothing else matters on10/25/2005 12:45:00 上午
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星期二, 十月 18, 2005
Feels blissed to have the person i love most in the world sleeping behind me when i'm doing my stuff...
Abit confused with what christian told me today. Hmmm abit irritated with myself for being so forgetful with his words, his english is already not very good in the first place. But the gist is - the tutors are not pleased with me because they felt that i have not been following the guidelines (for the stool assignment). There could have been other negative opinions about me being rebellious in the sense that i disregard their advices and went away doing my own stuff. I have yet to resolve a possible misunderstanding regarding me seeking advice from christian and following his design approach rather than the year 2 tutors, whose approaches are clearly different from christian's, leading to me having a design outcome which is deviating from what is expected from us as a class.
I was quite shocked when he told me that christiane was the one who brought this up to him, because i was never under her for my stool project, and i had certianly never ever mention christian's name in any part of my project! Where the hell would she get this idea??
Not sure how should i deal with this, should i just let the matter past? Or should i clear the possible misunderstanding with the tutors that i'm not acting against them...sigh. It is already a struggle - having to have a fresh approach, starting over...and now i felt the tutors are not pleased with my attitude? Why do i have to face these kinda problems? Sometimes i felt so silly - my sem and prob next sem goin to suffer cox i did badly for 1, now 2, projects....i have to stop indulging myself in thinking that they are goin to appreciate my work because already, i have spoilt their first impression of me. And impression really is important in the grading of design (i personally feel).
Perhaps subconsciously i really am rebelling? Just that i have not realise...cox throughout the entire stool project i have been feeling down and sulking... Haiz...but whatever happens is over. STOP WHINING NOW SIXIU!!! IT'S ENOUGH!!!!!! MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE!!!
nothing else matters on10/18/2005 12:25:00 上午
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星期五, 十月 14, 2005
Wat if my perspective of the world around me belongs to me only and no one else shared my views. I live in a world that only i exist. It would b so sad. Felt so alone....esp when he says he wanna b alone. Y is he so selfish. Mabbe i expect too much. Felt like crying, but so tired at the same time. So tied down with sch work, nonetheless i make the effort to tok to him, and he always sound like so tired so easily, even though he has been slacking the entire day in camp. Not that he was having a hard time. Mabbe he didn't realise that i'm much more stressed and busy. Come to think of it....it is really quite miraculous we can stay together for 2years and going 3. We've got nothing much in common. Can't explain much to him wat i'm doin in sch and my problems cox he doesn't understand. I tried asking him to play maple wif me cox i c my colleagues who play wif their other half and it's much more fun. He refused. I tried to go exercising wif him, but still it's v rare a chance. I really hate jogging. Even the tv shows we watch are so different. Sometime i really wish he could understand wat i'm going through...even though i shld oso try to understand wat he's goin through.
I really dunno wat's love. Has it become an act of habit? But sometimes i feel i like him so much, i miss him so much. But it might just be my mind playing a trick on me.
nothing else matters on10/14/2005 01:35:00 上午
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星期三, 十月 12, 2005
I tink i'll marry siwei.
nothing else matters on10/12/2005 01:31:00 上午
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星期四, 十月 06, 2005
Can't believe it has been already near a month since i wrote about the issue and i still haven't got over it. When i thought i have come to a conclusion in my mind, some other thoughts will ruin it. Til now i am still fighting for a stand. I am totally hopeless, when i thought i can get over with it confidently, the moment i thought of history repeating itself because of my stubborness i knew i would be devastated again. It would be another struggle between pride and my humble thoughts. Then now i'm escaping. Perhaps i'm just lazy to make the extra effort. My brain is corrupted with issues on biasness and lies, and convinced that it is hopeless no matter how much effort you put into. I knew there is a specific problem but i just can't be bothered to change it. And i'm skipping class so I don't have to change it. I'm just so lazy and stubborn. Why can't i just get over with it. -Super pissed.
nothing else matters on10/06/2005 01:31:00 上午
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