星期一, 五月 23, 2005
I hate it when no one listens to me. Hate it when they think they're right. Hate it when they're just pretending to listen, pretending to understand. Hate it when they give me the look of despise. Hate it when they don't treat me seriously.
I hate myself for not being able to carry myself well. Hate myself for not getting pple's respect. Hate it when i get so irritated easily. Hate it for hating construction sites, for having to walk long distances under the sun.
Hate it when i realise i'm the only one who's hating all this. It's only me. Only siwei can tolerate me.
nothing else matters on5/23/2005 11:37:00 下午
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星期二, 五月 17, 2005
Friends can make a success out of u. They can drag u down to hell. An innocent soul is hunted by a group of similarly ignorant souls. They are just goin to destroy theemselves unknowingly with an equally strong stubborness that can't be altered. Their ego so big, it digusts me how stupid they are. I would never want to pry. But one of them is my brother. I myself am unable to change anything. The things he does shatters my imagery of MY family. I know patience might just be the solution, but he's running out of time. Perhaps i should have never cared in the first place. What is concern when u don't show it and when u don't know how to deal with it? Knowing what's wrong doesn't mean i know what's right.
Bloody hell.
What's that again? I don't even know what's hell.
nothing else matters on5/17/2005 10:06:00 下午
Having second thoughts about goin bangkok...I'm worried and uneasy. Haha actually i'm timid. Maybe we'll be kidnapped? What if we get lost there? Dun wan to b adventureous, just want to hang around the city area and be surrounded by retails. Shopping areas soothes me.
So timid. I can't even stay at home by myself at night. Scared of the dark. Scared of being alone at night.
Getting fatter btw, dunno y didn't eat alot but my tummy seems to bulge. Sleeping used to be a method to slim down but it didn't seem to wk anymore! :( VVV sad. Mabbe no pt complaining and being unhappy wif it all the time since i can't b bothered to do anything to ease the situation. I think it's time to accept the tummy as part of me.
BUT I HATE IT!
Can't wait to see him! (either tml or/and wed) 1 1/2 weeks seem such a long long time. I would die without him.
nothing else matters on5/17/2005 12:20:00 上午
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星期五, 五月 13, 2005
I lurve holidays. HAHAHA. Life can't be any better now.
Gonna start wk on the 2nd wk of june. Chunbeng's taking me as an intern for his company. Shall be mentally prepared that the wk load's goin to be hellish...but i suppose sloggin now wouldnt hurt in xchange for e experience. Besides wkin in this field has been what i've wanted, so i shld b rejoicing. Meanwhile i'd make full use of these remaining weeks to catch up wif friends and families. Finally bought the newpaper big walk tix....can't believe i'd actually go for this kinda event rite. All cox of siwei - i told him he's goin to piggyback me through the entire walk in return. Goin to b fun. :)
nothing else matters on5/13/2005 11:35:00 下午
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星期三, 五月 04, 2005
My personality is eroding. Who am I? How do I fit? Perhaps I'm just a attention seeking shell. Beauty comes from within, definitely not me.
Indulging in love eats away my interest towards others. Just an excuse. Or I'm just plain tired - all ID's fault!
What if i'm naturaly unnatural? NOT TRUE! I DO fit in... sometimes.
In the end does it really matter??? Why shld i feel threatened and end up forcing myself to appear interested in something that i'm not at all concerned abt?
(That's because it's not nice not to show concern and it just makes u less able to fit in...too bad)I AM being genuine -tired of putting an image to b popular.
U mean u can't fit in with genuineness? Insecurity rules.
nothing else matters on5/04/2005 11:46:00 下午
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星期一, 五月 02, 2005
WEIRD
how slowly time passes, feels like a million years ago since the last post.
PITY
start to appreciate marketing one day before finals.
Why are my hair falling off so rapidly when i'm not stressed. MUST B THE LENGTH. --illusion.
Passiveness eases ALL doubts.
nothing else matters on5/02/2005 02:24:00 下午
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