星期六, 十月 09, 2004
Siwei went brunei early this morning at 2am. He wouldn't be back til 3 weeks later. We didn't even say goodbye to each other properly. We were supposed to spend yesterday together - he promised that he'll spend time with me the whole of tomorrow til my lesson at 6. He did came knocking on my door at 8am. We cuddled up in bed. Then we ate breakfast i prepared. I gave him a haircut. Then he told me he gotta leave. That was 11.30am. He said he gotta go home and say goodbye to his mum cox he just found out on the same morning that his mum is working in the day shift today. I started to get angry. Because he has been out of camp since wednesday night. And we agreed not to meet til friday because 1. I was extremely busy with my schoolwork - I stayed over in the studio on wednesday night. 2. I wanted him to spend sometime with his family and himself. I couldn't understand why the 2 days was not enough for him. True enough he has to report back to camp on thursday afternoon for a bag check, true enough he has to go to the army market to settle some stuff. But i still couldn't understand why he has to ruin this precious few hours of time together with me.
I got over it. He left. (OF course he gotta leave)
He then went to see the doctor. Apparently he was sick all along - doc says he got fever and sore throat. So what am i supposed to do now?
He promised he'll come and keep me company in the afternoon ( to make up for the disappearance in the morning) But I got lessons in the evening til like 8.30PM!?! I asked him how long he would be able to meet me since he gotta return to his camp to get some stuff and report to changi airport at 11.30pm. He said we can meet up for 30min. (*............*) I told him what's the point of rushing just to meet for 30min???!!!! WHAT'S THE POINT? I told him i'll skip lessons so we can meet for a longer time. He says I must not skip lesson and be guai (*...............................................*)
I got extremely fed up. We have been debating about meeting up and skipping lessons from the time he left my house til my lecture starts at 6pm.
In the mist of our debating, he suddenly mis-send me a sms intended for QIU JUAN to ME. It says "Qiu juan...i wanted to do it before i go airport.......thanks alot and i'll give you a treat when i return..." That was all i remembered about the sms. It was shocking. Just imagine how pissed I already am from ALL the events that had happened throughout the day and now suddenly out of the blue i receive this warm and enthusiastic sms from him to her. It was disgusting. I kinda stared at my phone screen for dunno how long and the next thing i did was to off my phone. I wanted to believe that it was a misunderstanding but it couldn't be because it came from his hp. And his tone was so --different. He actually sounded happy in that sms - When we were debating at the same time.
I went Tangos at holland v with a few of my classmates after lessons. Went for a chill out and drink session. The cocktails there were great. We ate and talked - til 12am. And i decided to on my phone. His smses after i off my phone seemed to be out of the point. He don't seem to get the fact that I'm extremely angry over that sms to Qiu juan. He thought that i'm still angry with him for not spending time with me in the morning. He mentioned something about no more surprise. He ended off saying i truly love u. He called later when i was on the cab home. He sounded v poor thing - kept apologizing to me and saying that i would know what he meant next week. I don't want to knoe and I sounded extremely cold and uninterested. I just said bye and tell him to take care. Partially i was just so tired from Tangos and i guess the martini i had made me feel like sleeping. Part of me feels bad - he was sick and leaving to Brunei for some tough training. I totally deserted him, didn't play my part as a gf at all - i just chose to off my phone and disappeared until the last minute when he gotta leave. I recalled the sad and teary face earlier in the morn when he was snuggling me so tightly. But i'm just so tired and sleepy that all i want to do was to hit the bed.
Perhaps this is a break for us to cool down.
nothing else matters on10/09/2004 10:28:00 下午
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