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星期五, 八月 20, 2004

Realised i juz posted something reckless last nite...dunno wat got into me. Today siwei came to fetch me after my lecture at 8....i was so happy the whole day, looking forward and excited abt seeing him. I thought of letting my classmates see him by chance.
Things didn't turn out v well. We went ginza and i ate dinner. He was behaving quite strangely suddenly- didn't say much, didn't joke around, didn't tease me, took my harmless suggestions readily and instantly. I felt that there was something-like an invisible wall between us. I asked him wat was wrong but he juz kept assuring me that there was nothin wrong. It turned out tt he was unhappy with me goin out with vincent and other guys one on one.

He made me feel guilty and bad inside. I didn't know wat to say after that. I knew i couldn't make any promises cox he won't believe me. I can only say sorry. (which is a severely overused word in our conversations) I didn't expect one meeting last nite with vincent will make him and subsequently, me, so unhappy. Perhaps i shouldn't have gone out with him. This is so fustrating. I'd rather siwei vents his anger on me, then i won't feel so miserable. Then he told me that he shouldn't feel unhappy cox it's normal for a ger to go out with a guy. He said that he was being inmature by feeling that way. *sigh* I feel so confused. Got an urge to retreat and hide somewhere.

nothing else matters on8/20/2004 11:53:00 下午

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