LISTEN

星期五, 八月 20, 2004

i'm beginnin to love my classmates...beginnin to like my lessons except my gem (which sux)...beginnin to like the tutor...beginnin to notice the different guys in my class...but i shldn't tink abt them, shldn't get too many one on one conversations with them cox i realise that some are really sweet, mature and attractive character wise. Shldn't be sayin all these cox i'm attached. But mabbe i shldn't care....juz a harmless entry. Adds excitement to life.

Went out with vincent today....cox he's leavin for usa next wk and he wanna c me b4 he leaves. Told siwei i'll b meetin him....he was quite sad abt it i could feel it when i heard his response. Sometimes when i go out one on one with my guy frens, got a part of me feels like i'm shldn't be doin this...but another part of me feels tt it's completely fine. I feel extremely guilty when siwei sms me when i was out with another guy, and cox i didn't check my phone- i didn't reply him...and he waited for me til he fell aslp...sometimes i can imagine him doin the same thing to me....guess i'll feel terrible. But he never did this to me b4....and i haf always been doin this to him. Part of me feels helpless abt this...if he don't allow me to go out one on one with my guy frens i'll definitely be pissed- esp if it's my kor....am i a bad gf? Sheez sometimes i really hate myself as a gf....

nothing else matters on8/20/2004 12:43:00 上午

-•-