星期日, 七月 25, 2004
SHEEZ i wan more holiday!!! I can't remember wat i've been doing since i stopped workin abt 1+ months ago...have i been wasting time???? *CRY*i suddenly got so many things to do! Like doin my painting for my cousin-in-law (GOTTA FINISH before sch starts!!!! WORSE, i tink I FORGOT HOW TO PAINT.) Need to finish my freelance wk b4 sch starts too!!!! Or else i will not enjoy my orientation fearin my irritatin client's call all-e-time. :( And sch starts NEXT WEEK....I'm doomed.......
I like being close to sw...this weekend feels super close to him, despite so my mind kept wanting to feel even closer to him even we're sittin face to face today at jurong lib. Yest he came over and stayed e whole day wif me! we went out lot one to haf sushi dinner and den came back again. My parents saw us slpin toge but they didn't say anything...sheez!! I felt abit odd after he left cox i felt abit paiseh and was wonderin how cum my parents nber comment or anything.... Mabbe they c him too many times so they kinda accepted him??? HMmMm....i tink muz still b careful. But i still secretly felt relieved and glad abt e whole incident of him comin over and goin home late wo my parents complainin. *grinz*
nothing else matters on7/25/2004 11:25:00 下午
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星期五, 七月 23, 2004
Juz went out wif jy and lz...dunno y nber ask wc and lj along...anyway haf been reading lz's blog. She sorted reminded me of my past ---how i felt when i was wif siwei earlier on this yr and even late last yr. Then i took his every single gesture and words v attentively, dunno y now oso learn to b not so attentive to wat he does and says now. I tink cox now i'm busy wif my own stuff too like goin out wif frens and painting and startin to learn driving and goin out wif my cousins and family blah blah...Woah i love e situation i'm in now cox i haf no time to make myself tink of him endlessly unlike a few months ago when i led a sad workin life and was always pinnin on him like an abandoned cat waitin for its owner *weep*.
Sch's startin soon and i haf no clue on wat timetable and wat modules to take....Actually i'm oso concerned abt how i shld present myself to my future classmates and tutor...I'm not sure if i shld b enthusiastic abt making new friends and joining new clubs and stuff...Cox i went to camp last wk and my og's only alright. I've been quite selfish by not helpin out for the rag day today and on tues. I was really uninterested so i didn't go lahz...thought mabbe i shldn't b so "on" so early and oso so many pple will b there den i'll go there mabbe quite useless oso den v awkward. OR i'll haf ideas and start tellin everyone abt my ideas again....(sigh i always cannot control if i got some ideas....) I'm not sure if pple wanna listen to wat i haf to contribute...And i dun like it if i'm the one who always contributes (like the first day of e camp when we're supposed to do a og project) cox i'm not sure if pple treats me like a fool, and i dun wanna appear as though i'm dominatin e whole discussion. But sometimes i can't stand it when pple juz refuse to say anything and we cna't get started...So i can't help but to start sayin my idea cox i wan to get something done. Den pple may tink i'm damn bossy or tryin to act "lihai" ...Hmph this is annoying. Perhaps it's all my imagination....i juz feel insecure. I'm a v insecure person. :( I tink i'm tinkin too much...sheez...i tink i shld juz go for e og outing next wk after matriculation bah or else i'm really goin to b thought as anti-social liaoz...haha though i really dun care wat my og tinks of me cox i juz can't b bothered...got other stuff to do lahz.
[oh no...wat happened to me????? I really in this "lazy" "heck-care" state of mind....]
nothing else matters on7/23/2004 11:54:00 下午
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星期三, 七月 21, 2004
1. Registerd for driving lessons finally yesterday. Goin for my 1st basic theory lesson tml afternoon. Paid $200! So exxxxx.... YAWNZ.
2. Went to woodlands lib today to borrowed some bks on orchids for my painting. My cousin wans me to paint orchids for them to put in their hse. WhY so floweryyyy...... sheez.
3. I'm goin to haf a dog! It's my (other) cousin's dog. Her name is APPLE, he's bringing her here tml nite i tink...hope she can stay her forever though i told my parents she'll only be here for a few days...I LOVE DOGS! But siwei says he dun like dogs...he says i muz choose him or the dog...i wan both...
4. Today went out wif meiqing, lz and jingyun...bought a cheap sch bag...quite nice only $23..heee...it's pvc sling bag black color, rect in shape, quite big and waterproof.....LOL....bought a FIR album for $9.90 only! (wonder y so cheap....muz be illegal gd...) Bought Lj's pressie too!!! :) :) (can't say anything abt this yet)
5. Feelin abit confused and irritated abt uni stuff....esp the module choosing and timetables and medical checkup stuff....dunno when do wat and wat modules to choose and how to choose and blah blah.....kinda lost..... :( Hope can ask my og abt these stuff on matriculation day.
6. Oh how can i forget my jacket! I bought a new roxy sweater. Tink v nice haf been eyeing it since jan...now finally bought it. :) HappY!
7. I tink i'm gettin fatter and fatter esp after e camp...but i can't seem to care abt it suddenly...which is weird cox sch is startin soon and i used to tink i gotta look my best so can create a good impression.....Dunno y now i juz can't b bothered abt my waistline....WEIRD....(mabbe i got super turned off after e orientation camp last wk. hehe...tink e guys no much standard quite sian...)
nothing else matters on7/21/2004 11:42:00 下午
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星期一, 七月 12, 2004
Lately i cum to get closer to my mum... Feel like for a long long time, my family was like practically nothing more than a concrete shelter for me to sleep in at night. I was never close to my family...I dun get along v well with my mum cox i couldn't get used to her temper- i thought she had PMS-permenant menstrual symptoms...which made her v easily angry. But lately we have been getting along better...now i find that i'm slowly opening up to her--i find myself telling her my problems with siwei (that used to be a big no no 1 yr ago). Not only that, i tok to her more nowadays...and it's a v nice warm feeling to feel close to my mum. :)
By the way, she brought me to haf a haircut and highlights yesterday...my painstakinly grown hair all gone now...I'm not sure if i liked my new hairstyle...it's abit different, and it's definitely goin to take a long long time to grow my hair out again...I tink it's destinated--i never get to be a long haired (act sweet) ger ger forever.
nothing else matters on7/12/2004 12:16:00 上午
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星期五, 七月 09, 2004
No!no!no! i forget all abt last time le...now my whole mind onli u esp tis few days...i cant keep tinking of u! I reali love u too much to lose u ah... i need u in my life sixiu... 07.07.04 7:47pm
nothing else matters on7/09/2004 12:51:00 上午
Quite some time since i updated...haf been feeling too mentally tired and lazy to reflect. Realised that i HAVEN"T register for the camp afterall cox i sent to the wrong email add! OMG can't believe that i'm so blurrrr.....lousy choice of the stupid font on the brochure anyway...i confused the number 0 with the letter O. Tml sure v v embarrassing :( I dun like it when things go messy for me. *sigh* Hope everything's ok.
Siwei went back to hendon camp yesterday. He slept over at my hse on tue. ( Cox he had to book in at 6.30am the next morn and my hse is near his camp and his hse is too far away) We watched spiderman b4 tt...it was a great show! But i tink i preferred the 1st one cox i miss the upside down kiss....haha...still tink it's so romantic, got e urge to watch the prequel again. It was the 1st time he stayed over at my hse... Quite surprised my dad actually said OK cox he's always quite protective of me. He slept in my room while i slept in my parents'. Stupid him slept on the floor cox he said he's v paiseh to sleep on my bed, so i lent him my blanket... he lied on the floor while i looked at him, dunno y i kept bending down and kiss him lots of time goodnite- on his lips, the forehead, the cheeks... i could only faintly make up his silhoutte in the dark, kissing him lots of time goodnite, hoping the time could stop for awhile. I didn't sleep well the whole nite cox i was tinkin of him -if he slept well, if the floor is too uncomfortable...e nite is endless. I felt abit excited...like he's actually slpin in my room now. i slept like a log in my bed after he left for camp however...got a super warm feelin of his presence in my room. It made me sleep v comfortably.
nothing else matters on7/09/2004 12:16:00 上午
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