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星期六, 六月 05, 2004

i tink we need a break.
I'm too overwhelmed by surges of emotions i can't describe...they're killing me...
you say i didnt give u support.
you say why can't you go back normally
you say why do i keep cryin
i ask you wat shld i do to give u support
you say nothin
i dun wan to be like this...
I dun mean not to give u support.
In fact i am always tryin to make you feel happier when you're goin back.
I try to make cookies for you
I wrote letters for you.
I made cards for you
I helped you do applications, even paid yr phone bill for you.
But i'm juz unhappy...
Why?
Cox i'm lonely
Cox i feel we're always in rush for time when we're together
Cox we haven't been having a real good time together for a long time
I know you need time for yrself and yr family.
I'm sorry to say this but it's making me sad.
I try to act as though i dun mind...
Try to hide my unhappiness
Cox i know i cannot throw tantrums or say hurtful things when you're goin back to camp.
I know if i start sayin those sad hurtful stuff you're goin to have a hard time in camp for the whole week.
But suppressing myself makes me even more hurt, makes me sad.
I cannot contain my unhappiness inside me anymore.
it's leaking out.
You knoe how difficult it is --contemplating if i shld tell you how unhappy i feel, cox i'm scared i'll hurt you even more. Perhaps it's not your fault...cox you didnt make the arrangements. But if i don't, this unhappiness inside me juz keeps building up. Now, it's overhwelming..
I'm dying inside.
Where are you?
I keep wait.
I keep wait.
Then i let go.

nothing else matters on6/05/2004 01:45:00 下午

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