星期六, 二月 21, 2004
Dunno wat's wrong with me again...i tried to be understanding already, i really tried.
But i guess i spoil everything again...
I knoe he's tryin all his best to spend as much time with me as possible, yet i just dun feel satisfied. I have been disappointed with him coz he didnt get anything for my birthday and for valentine. Actually i really didnt mind at all--i didnt mind last wk-which was valentine's week and my birthday....i really didnt mind, i just wanna be with him! But last few days when he was in camp, he called me and said he wans me to choose something for myself- he said he'll buy something for me, and i got excited, and happy.
This morn when he was out he said he had to get back home at one plus coz he needs to prepare some impt stuff for camp tml...i got disappointed, wat made it worse is that he said he was goin to buy me a present today- we looked at bears, this forever friends bear which we nearly bought but i thought it was too ex. I guess i couldnt decide if i really wanted something. I dun wanna let him spend too much on me but i really really liked him to get me something--coz he didnt get me anything last year on my birthday too :( I thought that perhaps he would buy me something in front of me...it's juz a stupid secret thought i had- but i knoe guys esp him wont get it.
i'm just tryin to play heart to get. And i got both of us hurt. I followed him to his hse and secretly stayed downstairs for abt an hour...not hoping that he'll cum down but juz dun feel like goin home. I even rejected his calls and shouted at him over the phone when he called. I shouted at him sayin that y he's doin his stuff with his fren and y cant i help him instead. I didnt realise tt it wasnt any easy task....
I really feel v lousy....he took a cab to my house early in the morn once he got home from camp...he didnt even see his mum today--juz bcoz he wanna spend the precious 4-5hrs with me...last week he oso took a cab juz to see me faster. I really spoiled things this time...Siwei wasnt mad at me, he kept sayin sorry and it was his fault for needin me to fit his schedules....But i knoe it's my fault...i shouldnt be so demanding...
nothing else matters on2/21/2004 10:54:00 下午
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